Love to those least ‘deserving’
Last night, I was watching a program about prisoners with my dad (I usually don’t watch any TV unless it’s baseball related, though I do make exceptions to watch TV with my dad because it’s one of his favorite activities). We ended up talking about some deep stuff throughout the program. Racism, metaphysics, and love were all touched on. He believes in capital punishment for the worst of the prisoners shown on the program. The prisoners who tell the guards they will kill them for even looking at them, the prisoners who sling their feces around in order to act like an animal, and the prisoners who send absolutely zero love (No one has zero love in them, it’s in every single one of us somewhere) out into the world. He wants those terrible few to be shot dead on the spot. This does not fit into my spiritual belief system. Killing someone because they don’t seem “fixable” doesn’t solve anything in my eyes. Yes, you have gotten rid of the surface layer problem, but have you cleansed it at the root? This is what we argued about briefly, as he prepared to go to bed, at a whisper because my mom was sleeping a couple of rooms away (probably trying to sleep given the enthusiasm of our debate, despite the attempt to limit our volume).
What is the root cause? If you ask me, it’s a lack of love. Killing someone who “deserves” to die based on their actions on the level of form does not do anything to solve that root cause. It only further perpetuates the issue. Now, love does not mean having zero boundaries and we just let people go do what they want. It just means when someone has committed murder and is in prison for life, we extend them love and forgiveness in their solitary confinement. Whatever form that takes: a smile, a warm greeting, or simply a genuine care for that person’s well-being in spite of their complete and utter lack of reciprocating that care. That is the solution right there. Extending love, even to those who “deserve” it the least, is how we slowly move towards a world where we don’t even have to lock people up for life. Because they will have felt the love from the moment they opened their eyes in this world and would bask in its blessing. Make love. To everyone, to everything, always. Suerte.
PS: I wish I could express my ideas more clearly in writing. I wish I was a better writer in general. I want to bring about positive change in the world, but I know I must continue to get better at a variety of skills and take more action in order for that to happen. This blog is one of my mediums for working on those skills and taking that action.
PPS: I have done an okay job implementing the action plan based around rapport. Here are the five action steps I listed out:
- ACTION STEP -> Practice noticing one aspect of a person at a time in an interaction. For the next couple of weeks, I will be extra conscientious of body language, both my own and that of the people I engage with.
- I’d say in about a quarter of my interactions with people I’m conscientious of the body language for the majority of the interaction. In almost every interaction I have noticed body language at least once. B-
- ACTION STEP -> When I don’t understand something important another person has said, ask a ‘What’ question. Contrast this by asking the same person a ‘Why’ question shortly afterward. Note the different responses.
- I have asked a lot more ‘What’ questions than I used to. Still haven’t notice much of a difference between ‘What’ responses and ‘Why’ responses. I must take better note of this. C
- ACTION STEP -> Identify people’s perceptual modes: visual, auditory, and kinesthetic. Ask “How would you like this information presented to you?” (59)
- I’d say in about a tenth of my interactions I have noticed the other person’s perceptual mode. I have not done a good job of identifying this on TV or in YouTube videos I watch. D
- ACTION STEP -> “Make a list of the words and phrases that suggest the kind of attitudes and feelings you’d like other people to have while being with you or while thinking about you…Consciously embed these phrases in your conversations with others until you’ve developed the habit,” (124). My list is:
- all good
- full of love
- live freely
- be even more productive
- I have incorporated ‘all good’ into my everyday speech. I say it every time someone says ‘Sorry’ or ‘Excuse me’. I must continue to incorporate the four other phrases into my lexicon deliberately. C
- ACTION STEP -> At least three times a day, announce what you are going to do and then do it. For example, ‘I am going to drive over to whole foods to buy some dinner’. Or even smaller, ‘I am going to sit in that chair’.
- I’d say I do that about once a day right now on average. While I was writing that last sentence I took a break to switch seats and say, “I’m going to sit in that chair now.” LOL. I can definitely take more action with this step. C+
Overall, I took a bit of action with all of them. I’ll continue to work on all five of these steps.